If only the school make the history into video…
I don’t know why but if the school have a video section for the history, I might can remember what the heck I had learn.
Seriously, this video is just simple and even have the musical and a weird guy with an accent, it is just so freshen up your mind than listening to your boring lecture babbling about it.
Yoshito Usui, 51 years old creator of the Japanese manga and anime Crayon Shin-chan, was found dead Sunday in the mountains north of Tokyo.
According to news reports, Usui had told family he was planning to climb a mountain in Gunnma prefecture and went missing on Sept. 11. Japanese media reported that he may have fallen from a cliff. His body was found with wounds to his chest.
Crayon Shin-chan, about a mischievous 5-year-old boy, became a hit manga in the 1990s, with 49 volumes published in Japan. An English-language version was published in the United States by CMX, an imprint of DC Comics. The series jumped to anime in 1992, and continues to run today.
I didn’t expect this would be happen after hearing him missing. This is just too sad, we have lost a big mangaka star. I love to read Crayon Shin-Chan since I was 14 years old, it is so hilarious on how shin-chan behavior that is so naughty but straight forward.
This guy test the condom elasticity to the Max.
The hell?…. how big is a p**** need to be?
1. Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world?
2. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
3. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
4. Banging your head against a wall uses an average of 900 calories an hour.
5. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
6. The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
7. “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
8. The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.
9. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
10. Feb 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
11. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
12. Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
13. Every time you lick a stamp,you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
14. Cat’s urine glows under a black light.
15. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
16. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
17. Babies are born without knee caps.They don’t appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
18. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
19. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
20. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
22. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30’s lobbied against hemp farmers they saw it as competition.
23. You know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
24. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
25. There are 2 credit cards for every person in the US.
26. The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan.”
27. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
28. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
29. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds,dogs only have about ten.
30. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Weird but a stoning chair made base on human anatomy. The designer Pouyan Mohktarani called it “Ruby”, it maybe look strange but it still have the unique kind of view from different angle. If you look closely you can see it have a abdominal muscle, 8pax on it.
Designer : Pouyan Mokhtarani
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick?)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than ‘going blind!’)
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England – but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to do things with animals that I just don’t want to write about here, however the animals must be female. Having a bit of ‘hows your father’ with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
In Maryland, USA it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only ‘in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.’
(Is America a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam!)
As I read all my e-mail, this articles just give me a big impression on life.
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: “I don’t believe that God exists.”
“Why do you say that?”asked the customer.
“Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist.
Tell me, if God exists,would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t imagine loving a God who would allow all of these things.”
The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept.
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist.”
“How can you say that?”asked the surprised barber. “I am here, and I am a barber.And I just worked on you!”
“No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.”
“Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me.”
“Exactly!”- affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”
Where ever you are, always remember who give us soul to be in this world and pray to God.
This maybe harsh but feel free to think what ever you want.
Does Blog also the same just like Facebook? Using Public View instate of Private (send message, e-mail, YM).
Nothing is wrong but when it is public possibility of people not mention/reply about it is so low.
Think before you post something in the internet, others just want to have fun. Think again over your mistake that you already had done.
A joke forward to my e-mail that I just receive today but it’s in Malay. Enjoy it
Title: Koleksi lawak pecah perut ! Baca sampai lebam!!!
Description:
Lawak 1
Suami : Kenapa Sayang menangis?
Isteri : Saya telah baca sebuah buku. Sad endinglah bang..
Suami :: Buku apa?
Isteri : Buku bank abanglah…
Lawak 2
Pada satu petang , si ibu membawa anaknye berusia 4 thn bersiar2 menaiki
kete. Dlm perjalanan si ibu membunyikan hon.
Anak : Naper ibu bunyikan hon & saper org tu?
Ibu : Tu sedara kiter , kenalah hormat.
Dlm perjalanan mereka seterusnya mereka terserempak dgn seekor lembu yg nak
melintas lalu si ibu membunyikan hon.
Anak : Itupun sedara kiter jugak ke?
Lawak 3
Aderla sorang lelaki datang ke sebuah rumah untuk meminta derma. Derma
untuk rumah orang-orang tua. seorang budak pun membuka pintu.
budak : derma ape bang?
lelaki : derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. adik ada apa-apa untuk
didermakan?
budak : nanti jap.saya ambilkan atuk saya.
lelaki : ??
Lawak 4
Tunang Farid , Siti , menelefonnya untuk memutuskan pertunangan mereka.
Farid : Mengapa?
Siti : Saya dah bosan ngan awak. saya dah ada teman baru.. Sebelum tu awak
mesti kembalikan semua gambar saya.
Farid : Ok. Tapi saya tak ingatlah yang mana satu gambar awak , Nanti awak
pilihlah sendiri. Yang selebihnya kembalikan kepada saya.
Siti : Erkkkkkk………. Benci ………
Lawak 5
3 org menaiki motor dan ditahan polis trafik. Namun pemandu motor tersebut
tidak berhenti. Katanya , ‘Tak Muat Dah Tok , Kami dah bertiga !!!
Lawak 6
Ada 3 sekawan bernama Gaduh , Gila & Bendul. Ditakdirkan Gaduh hilang.
Bendul pun membuat laporan polis.
Bendul : Encik , I nak cari Gaduh.
Polis : Isk.. apa?? U ni Gila ke ?
Bendul : Uik mana Encik tahu kawan I Gila ?
Polis : Adoi. apa la si Bendul ni nak ?
Bendul : I mmg Bendul. Tapi saya nak cari Gaduh !
Polis : .@%
Lawak 7
Dalam kebun ada bermacam buah , tiba2 kebun tu terbakar; semua buah2an
musnah kecuali 2 buah je yang terselamat.. buah ape ek?
1. buah cempedak = diluar pagar
2. buah keranji = didalam perahu , dah dibawa belayar… jgn marah haaaa….
MALAM JUMAAT
Malam itu malam Jumaat. Kassim ingin beristirahat awal bersama
isterinya , dia fikir dia akan dapat banyak ganjaran jika berbuat begini.
Ganjaran paling nyata ialah hakikat dia kini sudah mempunyai lapan orang
anak: empat daripada mereka masih kecil lagi. Yang bongsu masih lagi
menyusu
“Malam ini kita tidur awal. Malam jumaat” kata Kasim pada Ani ,
isterinnya yang sedang menyusu anak bongsu mereka
” Tak boleh bang. Sebab anak anak kita masih belum tidur , nanti saya
tidur kan mereka dulu”
” Baiklah awak uruskan mereka. Abang akan ke bilik sebelah membaca
Al-quran” balas Kassim , sambil ke bilik air mengambil wudhuk , setelah
mendapat kan songkok. Kitab al-quran dan meminum seteguk air sejuk
Kassim bersedia untuk memulakan kerja ibadahnya?
“BISMILLAHHIRROHMANNIRROHIM”
” Bang anak? Anak dah tidur” Terkejut Kassim mendengar suara Ani yang
membawa khabar baik kepadannya dalam jangkamasa yang begitu singkat
” SODAQALLAHULAZEEM ”
Tu lah dahsyat nya malam Jumaat……
Tregedi di bulan Puasa
Seorang wanita cantik dan seksi terjatuh dari tingkat 80 sebuah
bangunan.Sampai jer di tingkat 70 , seorang lelaki Inggeris berjaya
menyambutnya.
Wanita : Terima kasih , anda telah menolong saya…
Lelaki Inggeris : Sama2 , tapi anda harus membalas budi…
Wanita : Bagaimana?
Lelaki Inggeris : Tidur dengan aku….
Wanita : Tak guna , kau ingat aku pelacur?! Tidak!!
Lelaki Inggeris : Baiklah kalau begitu…
Lelaki Inggeris itu melepaskan semula wanita itu.
Di tingkat 50 , seorg lelaki Perancis berjaya menyambut wanita itu.
Wanita : Terima kasih , anda telah menolong saya…
Lelaki Perancis : Sama2 , tapi anda harus membalas budi….
Wanita : Bagaimana?
Lelaki Perancis : Tidur dengan aku….
Wanita : Tak guna!! Aku tak mahu!
Lelaki Perancis : Kalau begitu , tak guna aku selamatkan kamu…
Lelaki erancis itu melepaskan semula wanita itu.
Dari tingkat 50 , 40.. dan 30 , tidak ada sesiapa pun yang dapat menangkap
wanita itu. Wanitaitu mula ketakutan dan berharap , jika ada orang yang
menyelamatkannya , dia tidak lagi kisah jika terpaksa
tidur dengan orang tersebut. Akhirnya di tingkat 20 , seorang lelaki Arab
berjaya menyambut wanita itu.
Belum sempat lelaki Arab itu bersuara , wanita itu terlebih dahulu
berkata-kata…
Wanita : Terima kasih , anda telah menolong saya.. Sebagai membalas jasa ,
saya akan tidur dengan anda.
Lelaki Arab : Astaghfirullah..
(lalu melepaskan semula wanita itu kerana terkejut..)
Jangan Minum dan Memandu
Citer ni member aku yg beritau. Sampai nak pecah perut dibuatnya. It
happen at Jalan Loke Yew.. Satu malam tu kawan pompuan ni la , dia baru
jer balik dari party , tak tahu how many glasses dia minum ler tapi
memang dia betul-betul mabuk. So masa on her way home she got blocked
from the police officer and asked for her driving license and so on but
unfortunately at the same time tu , there was an accident happen a cross
the road. Quite major jugaklah accident and the policeman leave her and
rushed to the accident scene.
So this stupid girl dah gabra tak tahu nak buat camne , she just ran off
back to her car and head straight back home in Klang. So the next
morning polis datang ketuk pintu rumah dia dan polis tu tanya dia , “AWAK
PEGI MANA MALAM SEMALAM?”
Pompuan ni pulak jawab , “TAK KEMANA ENCIK. SAYA KAT RUMAH JER.”
So polis tu tanya lagi , “BETUL KER ”
Pompuan tu jawab , “BETUL ENCIK.. SUMPAH SAYA TAK GI MANA2 , TANYA LER NGAN
HOUSEMATE SAYA.”
So polis tu kata , “YE KER? (sambil tergelak) MARI SINI , KELUAR JAP”
Lepas tu polis tu tunjuk , “HA!!! ITU KETA SAPA TU??”
Pompuan tu macam nak pengsan sebab dia dah terbawak keta polis yg malam
tadi balik rumah , dia ingat keta dia sebab kaler sama warna putih (wira)
cuma keta dia takde sticker polis kat tepi pintu jer.
Tak pasal2 kena saman RM1000 dan gantung lesen 1 tahun.
Gear
Seorang Tok Batin baru membeli motorsikal Honda dan kebetulan pada jalan
pulang terserempak dengan kawanya yang ingin menumpang , lalu
ditumpangkan kawanya itu. Dalam perjalanan kawanya merasakan Tok Batin
itu hanya mengunakan gear 1 sahaja lalu bertanyalah kawanya itu ,
Kawan Tok Batin: Kenapak kamu hanya pakai gear 1 sahaja.
Tok Batin: Kalau rosak 1 gear ada 2 lagi gear.
Kawan Tok Batin: ??
KISAH NEGRO YANG HAUS
Al kisah , Seorang negro di Afrika sana sedang kehausan nak mati akibat
tak de air kat padang pasir.. Sedang die mencari air , terjumpe la die
dengan jin padang pasir.
Jin tu cakap…
“Aku akan tunaikan tiga permintaan kau , oleh sebab kau dah nak KO , aku
akan tunaikannye pada kehidupan lain engkau”
Negro tu pun cakap…”Pertama , aku nak jadi putih.. Kedua , aku nak
sentiasa kene air supaya sejuk dan tak dahaga. Ketiga , aku nak tengok
punggung wanita tanpa mereka sedar”
Negro tu pun mati dengan tenang nye. Pada kehidupan lain , Negro tu
jadi…………….
……mangkuk tandas wanita…
Posmen
Seorang posmen yang datang menghantar surat .
” Assalamualaikum ”
” Walaikumsalam ”
” Ni rumah encik encik Sameon ye?
” Ya saya”
” Poning kepala saya mencari alamat rumah encik ni ”
” Buat susah aje encik nie! Apsal tak pos aje
ISTERI TERSAYANG
Seorang lelaki telah menginap di sebuah hotel di KL. Terdapat sebuah
komputer di dalam bilik hotel itu. Dia pun mengambil keputusan untuk
menghantar e-mail kepada isterinya.
Malangnya , dia telah tersalah taip alamat e-mail isterinya dan tanpa
mengetahui kesilapan itu , dia pun terus menghantar e-mail tersebut. Di
sebuah rumah di Kedah pula , seorang janda baru sampai ke rumahnya
selepas
pulang daripada majlis pengebumian suaminya. Janda tersebut mengambil
keputusan untuk menyemak e-mailnya untuk melihat sekiranya terdapat
mesej
daripada saudara-mara dan teman-temannya. Selepas membaca e-mail
pertama
itu si janda tersebut pun pengsan. Anak lelaki janda tersebut pun
bergegas
ke bilik ibunya dan mendapati ibunya terlentang di lantai dan dia pun
membaca mesej di dalam skrin komputer:
To : Isteri kesayanganku
Date : 16 May 2002
Subject : Abang telah selamat sampai
Abang tahu Sayang pasti akan terkejut dengan kehadiran mesej ini.
Mereka
telah menyediakan komputer di sini pada ketika ini dan kita boleh
menghantar e-mail kepada sesiapa sahaja terutama insan kesayangan kita.
Abang telah selamat sampai dan telah menginap dengan aman di sini.
Abang
lihat semuanya telah di sediakan di sini untuk kedatanganmu pada hari
esok.
Semoga berjumpa denganmu nanti , Sayang.. Abang harap perjalananmu ke
sini
nanti lebih bermakna seperti apa yang telah Abang lalui ketika ini.
kuang..kuang..kuang…..
karam singh walia – ayat power
1. Kemana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke bawah
2. Tak lapuk dek hujan , tak lekang macam rambutan
3. Tiada rotan , pelempang berguna juga
4. Biar lambat asalkan tak cepat
5. Biar putih tulang , jangan kuning gigi
6. Di mana ada gula di situ adalah gula-gula
7. Kalah jadi abu , menang jadi arang , seri jadi abu bakar
8. Carik-carik bulu ayam , lama-lama jadi shuttlecock
9. Secupak takkan jadi 18 cupak
10. Gajah mati meninggalkan gading , udang harimau mati
meninggalkankulit , manusia mati meninggal dunia
11. Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit , inikan pula makanan di
dalam mulut.
12. Harapkan pagar , pagar tidak boleh diharap
13. Alang-alang mandi biar guna sabun
14.. Berapa berat mata memandang , berat lagi seguni beras
15. Cubit paha kanan , paha kiri tak rasa apa-apa pun
16. Diam-diam ubi berisi , diam-diam orang…. bisu
17. Hidup segan mati di tanam
18. Ikut hati mati , ikut rasa merasa
19. Lembu punya susu cap teko dapat nama
20. Sehari selambar benang lama-lama benang habis
21. Jika kail panjang sejengkal , beli le yang panjang sikit kalau
nak ngail di laut. (beli la pukat tunda lagi baik)
22. Hendak seribu daya , tak hendak tak apa
23.. Membujur lalu melintang pukang
24. Hujan emas di negeri orang , hujan batu di negeri sendiri ,
lebih baik hari tak hujan
25. Sebab pulut santan binasa , sebab mulut habis pulut
26. Kecil-kecil cili padi , kecil lagi biji cili
27. Kalau sudi katakan sudi , kalau tak sudi boleh blah!!
kuang..
kuang..
kuang..
1. “Kenapa lelaki perlu beristeri tiga….”
jawapannya kerana :
kerana kalau kawin satu isONE
kalau kawin dua isTWO
kalau kawin tiga barulah isTERI…..
2. SENYUM pd orang tua tanda syg.
SENYUM pd kanak2 tanda kasih.
SENYUM pd kekasih tanda cinta.
SENYUM depan telefon tanda gila ,
masih SENYUM lg…mmg sah GILA!
3. ” Manusia jatuh CinTa??Tak heran…”
Kuda makan RuMpuT?? Tak aneh….
MONYET pandai picit TETIKUS?? HEBAT!!!! ( MOUSE )
MASIH PICIT??
LUAR BIASA!!!!
4. “Cinta..ibarat kentut…”
makin dipendam makin gelisah…
bila di lepaskan …….
ahhhhhhh lega rasanya……..
5.Aku trpaku dek renungan matamu ,
hatiku tertanya2 , BENARKAH ini?
nafas ku terthn , kau tunduk SEGAN..
lalu ku bertanya , “kau..kentutkan?”
6. “… bila hidupmu dlm kegelapan , ”
maka berdoalah; dan
apabila selesai berdoa , jika
kegelapan masih
mengelilingimu
maka bayarlah
Orang Asli Dan Polis
orang asli: selamat pagi tuan
polis: selamat pagi
polis: apa hal
orang asli: saya nak buat repot tuan
polis: fasal apa tu
orang asli: kawan saya di baham harimau
polis: pukul berapa
orang asli: dia tak pukul , terkam
polis: habis?
orang asli: tak habis , tinggal kepala
This is something you won’t believe. Read it or you
will regret you
didn’t know what happened. Here it goes…
My friend lives in Hougang Ave 8. One evening he went
to town for movie with his friends. He was having a
lot fun before he realized it was getting very late.
He quickly made his way home. It was unusually dark
and creepy that nite. As he was walking , he was
astonished to find an old , creepy-looking street
peddlar telling some books along the road. It gave him
the shivers when he noticed this pale old guy staring
at him.
The old guy said , “Son , why don’t you get a book it
will keep you company”.
My friend acted brave and thought why not. He had a
look at the old man’s collection …. his hair began to
rise up on end when he noticed all the books were
related to the supernatural.
Nonetheless , he found one that was very interesting so
he asked the old man , “How much is this , Uncle?”
The old guy replied , “Well son … that’s an
interesting book it’s $25.”
My friend was shocked and said “But … but … that’s
so expensive… ”
The old man said nothing but glared at my friend which
freaked him out. He quickly rummaged through his
pockets and found $20. “Tiis-tis… this’s all I have”
he said.
The old guy replied , “It’s okay , son … you can’ve
the book for that price.”
As my friend hastily paid for it and made a dash for
home , the old man called out to him and said , “Son ….
whatever happens , don’t you ever flip the book to it’s
last page … remember these words … or you will
regret it!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Reaching home , he quickly asked his parents , “Dad mom
… are there any new booksellers nearby?”
“Not that we know of … but we’ve heard of a creepy
old man that appears only at nite during a full moon
and then disappears just as mysteriously. Nobody knows
who he is , or where he comes from but many have become
victims in his wake…. why son?”
N-nothing … just asking” , said my Friend and ran
straight to his room.
Nervously , he opened the book and began reading , all
the time remembering the warning the old man had given
him. But after a while , he grew tired and fell asleep.
At midnite , as he was sound asleep in bed , a cold gush
of wind blew in through his bedroom window which
startled him and sent chills down his spine. He looked
at his table and noticed the wind had blown the pages
of the book to its last page!!!!! For awhile , he laid
in bed – frozen in fear , but soon curiosity got the
better of him. He had to know what
was on the last page , since it is already flipped
open. Slowly he got out of bed and carefully picked up
the book. As he glimpsed at the last page , he let out
a blood-curling scream and fainted This is what he
read on the last page !
-Price Tag $10-
Akta 15
Sepasang kekasih baru yang bekerja sebagai pekerja sosial.. Hamid
dan Rosni selalu bersama walau kemana jua.. Suatu malam ketika
mereka berdua keluar berdating… Hamid : “Kita nak kemana nie?”
Rosni : “Tak kisah la… mana-mana pun boleh”
Hamid : “Apa kata kalau kita ke pantai..”
Rosni : “Saya ok aje..”
Apabila sampai dipantai mereka berdua tidak keluar
dari kereta.. mereka hanya berehat sambil berbual-bual
didalam kereta… Mulanya berbual biasa..
lama-kelamaan.. Hamid meletakkan tangannya dipaha
Rosni.. nampaknya Rosni tidak membantah.. Beberapa
minit kemudian.. Hamid mengerakkan tangannya beberapa
inci ke atas… Rosni masih tidak membantah…
hinggalah akhirnya ketika Hamid mengerakkan tangannya
beberapa inci lagi.. Rosni berkata dengan sopan…
“Abang Hamid…. ingatlah pada akta 15 dalam
perlembagaan pekerja sosial” Setelah mendengarkan
teguran Rosni itu.. Hamid terus menarik tangannya
menjauhi Rosni.. walaupun sebenarnya dia tidak berapa
ingat isi kandungan akta 15 itu..
Hamid : “Maafkan saya”
Rosni : “Tak apa”
Lalu mereka pulang… Di rumah.. Hamid terus masuk ke
bilik dan membuka buku perlembagaan pekerja sosial dan
mencari akta 15.. lalu dia membaca kandungannya…
“Teruskan Usahamu.. Jangan lakukan Separuh Jalan
Sahaja”
kisah 1
Seorang lelaki pergi ke klinik mata. Setelah matanya diperiksa ,
dia bertanya: ” Doktor , lepas pakai cermin mata nanti , boleh ke saya
membaca macam orang lain?” “Dah tentu , ” jawab doktor. “Oh ,
gembiranya. Dah lama saya buta huruf , akhirnya boleh juga saya
membaca , ” kata lelaki itu dengan riang.
kisah 2
Seorang perempuan tua berjumpa seorang doktor dan bertanya ,
“Doktor , saya ada masalah dengan perut yang selalu berangin , tapi
ianya tidak pernah mengganggu saya…kentut saya tak pernah
berbau , dan senyap. Jadi saya selalu kentut. Doktor meminta penjelasan
lebih lanjut dari perempuan tua itu… , dan perempuan tua itu
berkata , “Sebenarnya , saya sudah kentut sebanyak 20 kali ketika
berada dihadapan doktor. Mungkin doktor tak tau sebab kentut saya
tidak berbau dan senyap.” Sambil menarik nafas.. dan tersekat2
..Doktor itu menjawab , “Ok , sekarang ambil
pil ini dan datang jumpa saya minggu depan.” Seminggu
selepas itu , perempuan tua itu kembali.”Tuan doktor , ”
panggilnya sambil marah-marah , “Saya tak tau pil apa
yang yang doktor beri pada saya , tapi sekarang kentut
saya… walaupun masih senyap…tapi baunya sangat
busuk.” Doktor itu membalas , “Bagus!!! kita sudah
mengubati hidung makcik yang tersumbat , sekarang ,
mari saya periksa telinga makcik.”
moral of the story
berjaga jagalah ketika lepaskan angin tu..
walaupun kita tak bau.. tak dengar.. tak bermakna
orang lain pun tak dengar gak ! hehehehe..
kisah 3
Sebaik sahaja mengambil tempat duduk di ruang menunggu sebuah
klinik , Shan terpandang Amin sedang menangis teresak-esak. Dia
segera mendekati Amin.
Shan : Kenapa menangis?
Amin : Saya datang untuk ujian darah.
Shan : Awak takut ke?
Amin : Bukan itu sebabnya. Semasa ujian darah
dijalankan , mereka telah melukai jari saya.
(Mendengarkan penjelasan Amin , Shan menangis.)
Amin : Eh , kenapa pula awak menangis?
Shan : Saya datang untuk ujian air kencing…
kisah 4
Seorang atok membawa cucunya ke pejabat pos untuk menghantar
surat.Cucunya bertanya bila melihat atoknya memasukkan surat ke
dalam tong berwarna merah.”Atok buat apa tu?” “Atok bagi surat kat
kawan atok , cu!”jawap atoknya. Cucunya bertanya lagi , “Apa bangang
sangat kawan atok duduk dalam tong merah tu?”
kisah 5
Seorang pegawai polis masuk ke bilik mayat sebuah
hospital untuk menyiasat punca kematian tiga lelaki sekaligus.
Selepas memeriksa mayat-mayat itu , dia bertanya kepada penjaga
bilik berkenaan. Polis : Mengapa ketiga-tiga mayat tersenyum?
Penjaga: Lelaki pertama sedang bersanding , apabila
tiba2 diserang strok. Lelaki kedua pula khabarnya
menang loteri dan mati serangan sakit jantung
manakala yg ketiga disambar petir.
Polis: Hah! Kenapa disambar petir pun tersenyum?
Penjaga: Masa tu dia ingat orang sedang ambil
gambarnya…
